what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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