Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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