Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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