My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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