that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
