mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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