wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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