too bad you live with your parents still
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
