i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize