READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
