Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And then he peed in my hair
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