So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
