im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
