A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
