I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
