the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
