We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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