bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
