I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
