Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Quick, to the slutcave!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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