guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
