im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
