I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
