you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
