He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
