dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
