i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
