I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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