I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Operation Purity has been aborted
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize