This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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