dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
