Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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