Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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