I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
How external is "for external use only"?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
