absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
