I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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