i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
