the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Actions speak louder than pants.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
