i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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