so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
