in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
