you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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