Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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