Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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