Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
sex in a hospital.. check
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize