come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
