drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
