Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
