I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
