They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
