pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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