My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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