He kissed a someone with a penis
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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