I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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