I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he was CRYING into my vagina
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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