You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
