Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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