So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
