Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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