I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
