He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
