I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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