is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
