I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
