do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
