her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
